a hydrangea

Overalls: Topshop | Shirt: H&M | Heels: Asos | Bag: Urban Outfitters

♪ listening to La La Land Soundtrack (lol) – Epilogue ♪
If I could put in to words what this past week has been like….

I had 2 super super big auditions for hit tv shows last week. Life changers for a struggling NYC actress #me. One was a self-tape audition — I spent about 6 hours prepping and filming it. I put in a lot of work with that and I was super happy about the result. My next one was an in-person audition. Yep, butterflies, extreme nervousness and shaking, almost feeling like throwing up. I prepped for an entire day beforehand.

So now, I wait. Or not wait. My boyfriend says I shouldn’t wait, and I agree but I can’t help it. If you’re an actor, you should have the skill of being able to not wait. Unfortunately, I guess I don’t have that skill. I have been sitting down obsessing with this role. I check my email and phone constantly to see if I have a callback or if I got the part. I binge watched the entire tv show. I’ve stepped away from blogging and making youtube videos and posting on social media because all I can think about is if I will get the role or not. It’s true — I’ve gone crazy.

This is something I want so bad. Something that I would literally do anything for. Here I am, trying to get my ass of the floor because it’s only making me obsessive, crazy, and depressed. It’s hard to get out of this addiction and obsessive mindset but there is a lil’ QOTD that gets me some perspective: “When something is for you, it will not run or hide or avoid being yours.” Maybe that’s all I really need to get back to ~normality.

11 Responses to “a hydrangea”

  1. Daeyz says:

    I’m in love with the shoes! But most importantly, good luck with the auditions, I’m sure they were great!


  2. Shaine says:

    Awe, that’s fine babe. No need to worry, there might be better things coming for you. Moving on, love the outfit you’re wearing and your sandals are just so chic!

    xx shaine

  3. Yvonne says:

    Good luck and I hope it works out for you! Very nice outfit and details! have a wonderful day!
    xo Yvonne

  4. These photos are so pretty!! I like how they have a darker kind of tone which adds to the look.

  5. Eleonora says:

    So cute! The outfit is so nice and you’re beautiful
    xx Ele

  6. Allie Mackin says:

    Wow well congrats on getting that far! That is impressive. Yeah waiting is awful, it really is, all you can do is give it up to the universe. If it is meant to be it will be.

    Allie of

  7. Kris says:

    I love your outfit and I seriously hope you get the roles!!
    Have an amazing day!
    xx Kris


  8. Victoria says:

    I love the way you made these overalls sexy, but still cool and casual. It works so perfectly.

  9. ANGELEBABY says:

    fingers crossed! i know that nervous feeling so well xx


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