Overalls: Topshop | Shirt: H&M | Heels: Asos | Bag: Urban Outfitters
I had 2 super super big auditions for hit tv shows last week. Life changers for a struggling NYC actress #me. One was a self-tape audition — I spent about 6 hours prepping and filming it. I put in a lot of work with that and I was super happy about the result. My next one was an in-person audition. Yep, butterflies, extreme nervousness and shaking, almost feeling like throwing up. I prepped for an entire day beforehand.
So now, I wait. Or not wait. My boyfriend says I shouldn’t wait, and I agree but I can’t help it. If you’re an actor, you should have the skill of being able to not wait. Unfortunately, I guess I don’t have that skill. I have been sitting down obsessing with this role. I check my email and phone constantly to see if I have a callback or if I got the part. I binge watched the entire tv show. I’ve stepped away from blogging and making youtube videos and posting on social media because all I can think about is if I will get the role or not. It’s true — I’ve gone crazy.
This is something I want so bad. Something that I would literally do anything for. Here I am, trying to get my ass of the floor because it’s only making me obsessive, crazy, and depressed. It’s hard to get out of this addiction and obsessive mindset but there is a lil’ QOTD that gets me some perspective: “When something is for you, it will not run or hide or avoid being yours.” Maybe that’s all I really need to get back to ~normality.